April 2014 is turning out to be a pretty good month!!

Has anyone noticed how, especially in the provinces (i.e. outside Metro Manila) the majority of the people marshalling traffic, whether well meaning amateurs (and these guys can be comical) or officially employed traffic enforcers are often to be found directing said traffic in a most inappropriate place. I have noticed them standing along a straight piece of road, with no junctions waving cars, jeeps, tricycles etc on and getting quite irate if you don’t drive fast enough to keep up the flow, regardless of pedestrians or obstructions along the road.. Likewise traffic enforcers are often to be found some 10 or 20m away from a junction, sometimes in pairs or more trying to control the junction when they are unsighted of the traffic there. I do have to admit that sometimes they are trying to carry out their jobs whilst sheltering from the unforgiving sun, but come on guys, you need to try harder.

Another thing, what is with traffic enforcers, security guards and car park attendants and all the whistle blowing, I have not managed to decode the meaning of the frequency of peeps, it all seems the same whether I am reversing and they are telling me that there is plenty of space, or to slow down or I am about to hit something. All I know is I am grateful my car has a reversing camera and sensors attached so I can ignore the shrill whistles!!

Anyway, enough bitching for now…..

The period March to April this year has been an exciting time for both myself and Kat. The first thing was the application for my residency visa. We started the paperwork sometime before Christmas, using the information on the Bureau of Immigration website to guide us regarding the documentary requirements. This however wasn't quite as simple as it may have seemed. It turns out that requirements are subject to change without notice, and sometimes even if they haven't formally been changed, staff members at the Bureau can and do make up their own interpretations of the rules. To cut a long story short, we obtained a number of documents, had them authenticated by the British Embassy and then verified by the Dept. of Foreign Affairs also known as red ribboning. All of this took something like 4 months, after which time my tourist visa was a little over a month from expiring at the end of March.

We got the application submitted a little before the end of February, all the requirements had been met according to the website; the officer at the enquiries desk just inside the main doors checked them through and told us to make the first of many sets of copies of the whole set, which we did.

After this, we went to the first of the windows, only to find out that I needed to get the visa from my old passport transferred to my new one, I was asked to go up to the 4^th floor to expedite this; typically the elevators didn't work... After slogging up to the 4^th floor, I was given a small piece of paper and told to take this to a window back on the ground floor, we queued up and the BI Officer took it and asked me to wait for 30 minutes, after which he returned the paper to me, with a signature on it and said to return to the 4^th floor, and no the elevators still weren't working. After another wait I was issued with my new passport containing the transferred visa, all at no cost!!

We returned to the ground floor to start the submission process all over again with both copies of my documents, queueing up for a document check, which once completed we were directed to another window where my passport was checked for validity, both of them! Anyway, after a lot of windows and many checks to the documents I was directed to pay for the application, I queried the cost as it seemed a bit high but you can never tell if any changes had been made. I noticed on the bill an entry for the 'double express lane' which despite searching for I have not yet found. After paying I was offered the choice of two dates for our interview with an immigration attorney the following week.

A couple of days later, I received a phone call informing me that despite all of the checking that had been done by almost every single officer we dealt with, each one pouring over the documents to spot any errors, they had in fact made an error and charged me too much and they had me down for the wrong type of visa, but this had been noticed and rectified, changing the date of our interview, they would also refund the extra money. There was only one small problem with this, I had booked an hotel for the original date since the appointment was for 9am and Manila traffic is a bit tight early in the morning. I rebooked the hotel, cursing the error that had wasted the cost of the original booking.

On the appointed morning we arrived at the BI for our interview, I think we were both a little nervous as we waited outside the lawyer's office, but we needn't have been. Although the interview was scheduled for 30 minutes, we were able to satisfy the lawyer in under 20. She handed me a copy of my file and instructed me to get my finger prints and photos taken on the ground floor. 

The police report, which took so long to obtain and then to get authenticated and verified by the DFA, yeah, we didn’t need that in the end, the lawyer handed it back incase it came in useful somewhere else!!

We proceeded downstairs thinking it was almost done, however, after having my prints and photo taken digitally, it transpired that I needed to also have it done the old fashioned way using ink and paper, also two additional 2”photos of myself. Fortunately, I had a couple of spare copies, but if I hadn't there was someone available to take photos. We also needed to make more photocopies of the remaining paperwork in the file; once we had done this, I had to return to the original window to hand in the final paperwork. We were told to check on the BI website in about 3 weeks to see whether my application had been successful.

The next few weeks passed slowly, the BI website was not updated regularly, so I frequently returned to check whether the new list had been published. Eventually the first 3 week's lists after my application had been published, but my name had not yet appeared, this was both good and bad news, my name would be there whether approved or not, so not appearing was good in that respect. Four weeks after the interview, the list with my name was published for the week of 27^th March, the application was approved. I now was eligible for a probationary resident visa. The timing couldn't have been better as Kat was to attend the Philippine Pediatric Society Annual Convention in Manila, whilst she was there, I could visit the BI and get my visa and new Alien Certificate of Registration (ACR) ID card. 

Come the Monday morning, somewhat naively I thought that I could just walk in and get the visa and ACR-I card, but no, this was not to be the case. I needed a copy of the receipt for the last visa extension, which was apparently online, so why the officer couldn't look it up is beyond me. This necessitated a visit to the 4^th floor (again) and no the elevators weren't working (again). Once I had this receipt, I queued up again for the officer to yet again check through the documents in the file, fortunately no errors (I mean at this stage, really still checking....) He took my passport for verification of suitability, which took a bit over 30 minutes. I then had to retrieve my passport and take it to another window (two down) and complete another small form to ask for the visa. 

Since I was in the double express lane (still haven't found it) the processing time for the visa was 4 hours, sadly I had an appointment later, so I had to return the next day to get my passport back with the residency visa.

The next morning, I went straight to the visa issuing window, I didn't hold out a lot of hope for a quick resolution, I had brought the newspaper and some other bits to work on as I waited, however I was early and 2^nd in the queue, issued my passport and visa almost immediately, and then to my surprise pointed to window 4 to collect my ACR-I card, that was it, done. I was now legally allowed to stay for the next 12 months with a multi entry visa!!

The appointment on the Monday afternoon was arranged through a contact I had met through an Ex-Pat forum for professionals, there are bulletin boards in a number of countries and a thriving support network as well as social events going on all over the place. The guy I had made contact with is one of the main drivers here in the Philippines and he had seen my profile and passed on some of my details to a friend who was looking for people with management systems experience and specifically audit knowledge too. After swapping a number of emails and text messages over the previous week and weekend I found myself invited to what was effectively a job interview on the Monday afternoon.
Kat insisted on coming with me, and suggested that we get a driver to ensure that we made our appointment on time and in the right place. We arrived a few minutes early, which was useful as the company has strict security procedures in place. The interview went very well, although at the time of writing this I have not had formal confirmation of an actual job, the indications are that I have the necessary skills and background to be able to function as one of the consultancy / training team that the company are setting up. There are some potentially interesting clients on the horizon too and with the opportunities that exist in the Philippines for effective management system implementation there should be quite a lot of possible work out there.

As I mentioned last month, we suffered a break in at our former house, this has caused a lot of upset and we moved out and are currently living in Kat’s parents’ house. Although this is a bit tight for space, and not an ideal situation, I am most grateful that the family has made us welcome. This has provided us with an opportunity to keep an eye on the house construction as it is just around the corner. The house itself is getting there, it seems to be an interminable wait for the completion, but we know that rushing at this stage would probably ruin what has taken quite a long time to get to this stage. As of the 25th April, the windows have been fitted, all the lights have been installed. The stair treads, kitchen cabinets, bedroom and bathroom cabinets and the bathroom fittings are yet to be completed and the laundry area out back is currently under construction (sink area, hard stand for washing machine and drains etc.). The list is quite short, but there is some other detail work to be completed too. One of the major items yet to be sorted is the electrical power supply; it seems that we have to apply for a meter and connection to the local (pretty much monopoly) supplier Meralco; whilst in essence this is a simple procedure, since the development is not yet finished there are permissions to be sought to allow this to happen. Until we do the aircon cannot be fully tested amongst other things and none of the appliances will work either. Optimistically we can expect the earliest completion next weekend (the 1st or 2nd May) I would love that, but I am prepared for this date to be missed, who knows, I might be pleasantly surprised if it can all be done by then.

Update Friday afternoon April 25:-

We popped around to drop of the last of the light fittings, interestingly with something like 60 or 62 fittings in and around the house, plus a further 13 for the wall lights, the total power output using LED lamps is less than 400W if they are all on at the same time!!! I used to use more than that back in Haslemere in the living room of a small flat......
Anyway, when we arrived our project manager, Architect Ernesto Nolledo, the brother of our designer, Architect Edwin Nolledo, was just passing the house on his way to purchase the stainless steel sink unit and seeing us asked a couple of questions regarding the placement of the oven, we were able to see that progress is rapidly being made and all the appliances should be in place in a day or two, after that a bit more painting and finishing off and hopefully complete!!!

Suffered a bit of a setback when some scroat, scumbag broke into our rented house (again)

Sadly, this month's blog is not going to be the usual light hearted affair, I would like to hope the next few weeks will remedy this and normal service can be resumed, taking an askance view of the contrasts between Filipino and my more familiar western way of doing things.

I have been in the Philippines for 12 months now and today (a bit like yesterday and the week or so before) I find myself in a situation of dichotomy. Those of you who have access to mine or Kat's Facebook will realise that our rented house was broken into for the second time on the 20^th March; this time only my laptop was taken in what would seem to be a swift in and out burglary. I am really extremely angry and disappointed in the unfairness of it all, I have come here to marry a wonderful woman and start a new chapter in my life and some wicked (and bearing in mind the age of some who may read this, is about a strong as I am willing to go here) individual or group of individuals has chosen to ruin our happy little life. Kat was distraught beyond anything I had seen before, even the loss of her first pregnancy didn't seem to hit her quite this hard.

Conversely, her family and friends have rallied round and assisted us in all manner of activities getting ourselves sorted out from this horrendous violation of our space. One friend geed up the police to get them to come round and look for any evidence, although I am not sure whether it will come to much, since they didn't take our finger prints to exclude us, just took away some smudges found on the frame of the security gate we installed after that last time (seems that was a waste of money and effort). Other friends helped us to move all of our stuff over the course of Thursday night, Friday day and Saturday to Kat's parents' house, and her family who pitched in and offered us somewhere safe to stay for a while until we can move into our new home. This type of thing restores my faith in the overall goodness of the human animal, it doesn't mean I wouldn't break several bones of the person or persons who did this to us given the opportunity.

Whether there was any collusion between the security guards and the robbers is something I don't expect ever to find out, what is probable is that there is a group in the subdivision who go round and case the various houses to find opportunities for theft which they either carry out themselves or pass on this information to others to perpetrate the crime.

All this was exacerbated by the attitude of the administration of the subdivision. I appreciate that to leave a rented house, it is necessary to fulfill certain criteria so as not to leave the home owner with any outstanding bills, part of this is protection for them; however in full knowledge of the break in and having spoken to the home owner by phone and one of his representatives the admin requested a list of items we wished to remove and after this was refused in no uncertain terms they finally issued us with an authorisation to leave, however the departure of our items was halted by over zealouse security guards who refused us the right to leave and required us to check with the office first. It is a shame they couldn't exhibit such devotion to duty when it came to securing the house.....

So we now find ourselves living at Kat's parents' house, which is really great of them to take us in and look after us, putting up with yet another car in the garage, 2 more people (one a smelly male) needing to shower several times per day (it is very hot right now and quite humid too). It is actually rather nice as we are less than 1km to our new house and it is allowing us to experience life as it will be soon once we move, with the traffic etc. and trying to get to and from the clinics and I have to say that it is a lot easir than when we were in Bel Air.

The other part of me is rather happy with a number of things which all seem to be going quite well. The house construction is slightly delayed, but then the projected completion date was always optimistic and now we are so close it would be a tragedy to ruin it by rushing the last few steps. The floors are largely down, tiles are being placed on the walls of the bathrooms and the plumbing is being installed. We are just waiting for the delivery of some air conditioning units, the solar water heating panel to arrive and be installed and the final parts of the kitchen to be constructed and fitted. 

I have submitted my application for temporary residency and have had the interview with an immigration lawyer, which I believe we successfully passed. We are now awaiting the publication of the list, which hopefully will confirm that I have met the criteria for permission to stay. We shall then have to go and have a new visa stamped into my passport and collect a new ID card; the good news is that we can do this when we are next in Manila.

I have also been contacted with regards to some possible work here, either as a trainer for quality management and ISO standards or straight ISO certification work, maybe as a consultant for system implementation. Either way, I hope something comes of it as I would like to earn some money which can be used to pay for some luxuries we would like, such as a holiday to the UK in 2015 or 2016.

Kat and I are also investing in our future, we have started to pay the subscription fees for a stock allocation in a new tertiary hospital that is still being completed in the local area, although the investment will take some 3 years to fully pay, it is very much worth it as we shall then have discounted medical benefits at the hospital as well as Kat being able to hold clinics and admit patients there. The next step in our plans to secure our future is to maybe invest in a small business, but there are many questions to be answered before we take that step.

What I have learned in the past 11 months as a neophyte ex-pat in the Philippines

Let me start by saying that, obviously there are some significant differences in the culture here to what I had become accustomed to in the United Kingdom and Europe, but even knowing this and preparing for it as best I could was to prove inadequate. To be quite frank, the Philippines is a funny country, funny in a weird sense; but I love it and love being here and am enjoying the challenges even though I am sure some of these will drive me to insanity or an early grave, let’s hope not the latter…..

The language barrier: I am still struggling to learn Tagalog, this is partly due to being lazy and not having devoted sufficient effort to studying the language and partly due to the fact that nearly everyone I interact with speaks very good, or at least passable English. Adding to the mix is the phenomenon of TagLish a kind of hybrid language where the Filipino people intersperse a Tagalog sentence with English words for when there is no equivalent Tagalog phrase, or when the English is better understood. The French could learn a lot from this and not get so snooty about the purity of La Français. But honestly, I do need to apply myself more to my language lessons and to try not to pick up colloquial phrases such as “ano ba yan, ay naku!” as an expression of surprise or disappointment.

Clothing: Europeans tend to be larger than Filipinos, this is a given. Because of this I no longer find myself to be in the lower half of height at 1.71m tall and in fact am not only taller than average now, but being caucasian, quite noticeable in a crowd. Also Europeans are more robustly built than Filipinos, leading to problems when buying underpants or trousers/pants as there is not quite enough room for my well upholstered bottom to fit. Better get back on the Stairmaster!!!

Weather: it is hot here almost all of the time, in the 11 months since I arrived, I have worn a sweatshirt on less than 4 occasions, the temperature staying above 20℃ most of the time. The Filipinos however are more used to this than I am and suffer when the temperature drops. That being said a winter starting in December and ending at the end of February is not something I am going to complain about, as I was never a fan of ice and snow except on Christmas cards anyway.
There is of course a downside to all this warmth, it is often humid in the region of 60% most days which is debilitating to work in. Also the moisture can turn into rain, and we are talking of Biblical proportions when it decides to really go for it. We are also quite vulnerable here to typhoons and associate damage as was illustrated last year with Hayan (aka Yolanda) which devastated swathes of the country in the south and that was not something I want to experience personally.

Sunglasses: associated to the weather is the quantity of sunlight we get here; although the days are something like 12 to 14 hours long throughout the year with a lot less change than at the higher latitudes I am used to, the sunlight is a lot stronger, therefore many people wear sunglasses, here are some thoughts on this

Aviator style sunglasses went out of fashion around the same time CHiPs was cancelled on TV

Mirror lenses look good on cool people, especially on the beach, but not so much walking down the high street.

Politicians should avoid over use of sunglasses when appearing in photos or on TV unless on holiday and in all cases should avoid dark or mirror lens aviators as this looks decidedly sinister, especially on the old politicos with a bad dye jobs!

Trust and empowerment: these seem to be sadly missing here, I am not sure whether there is a serious trust issue between employer and employee, but the bosses boss and everyone else seems to do what they are told. I have on occasion seen situations where a bit of lateral thinking and initiative would have saved a lot of time and effort, but it seems not to be encouraged. It is also very easy to loose one’s job here if you displease the boss, which probably doesn't help matters. I know I react well to empowerment, I prefer to understand what is needed and then be left to make it happen, within certain strictures of course.

Shopping malls: the country, at least the bits I have been to, is awash in shopping malls, these vary from large purpose built structures housing many shops, restaurants, bars and cinemas to more spread out developments with an open air set up, examples of the former are managed by SM, Robinson’s amongst others, the latter can be seen at Paseo de Santa Rosa, Nuvali or Solenad in Santa Rosa. These are a great attraction for families who often just go there to hang out (in the case of the large indoor malls, to keep cool or out of the rain) with very little actual purchasing going on.
I have noticed that many of the malls also have some highly aspirational shops or items for sale, including the latest gadgets at prices similar or higher to those I am familiar with from Europe e.g. 86” TVs and larger selling for considerably more than the average Filipino earns in a year; still, it’s nice to dream..

Receipts: these are very important pieces of paper, rather than discard them as I am accustomed to, I have been told to keep all of them and only weed out the trivial ones later. Receipts are used by the Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) to keep tabs on who owes what tax, especially from businesses like shops, restaurants and professional services, more of which later.
These are so important that the process of buying something can be significantly complicated and time consuming by the generation of the necessary paperwork, interpretation of the requirements varying from vendor to vendor, but till generated receipts are not sufficient according to some.

The Notary Public: I am not sure whether it is a function of most politicians being lawyers or former lawyers or something brought by either the Spanish or Americans, but you can’t do anything official here without having some documents notarised, which involves embossing with a stamp and the signature of a lawyer, for a small fee around ₷300 depending on the number of documents or pages to be notarised. Now I don’t resent this for important transactions, but I often cannot see the value add in this step, it seems a needless expense, but a good earner for the notaries.

Staples and adhesive tape: If the need for receipts makes shopping a trial, the sheer number of staples and sticky tape used to affix said receipts or close bags and seal wrapped items boggles the mind. I am convinced there is a business opportunity in being the supplier of these to the shops. The whole is exacerbated by the banning of plastic carrier bags and the lack of trust / level of shoplifting that is endemic requiring purchases to be sealed before leaving the shop, it is a bit like the good old days shopping in duty free.

Queuing: not a popular concept, which goes right against my British sensibilities, we may not have invented the queue, but the Brits turned it into a national institution. Filipinos seem to be very impatient and hate waiting, this is especially noticeable when driving and in any situation where waiting one’s turn would seem the norm. The problem is perceived to be so important that a politician has recently proposed legislation to make cutting in line an offence, punishable by a stiff fine……

Interestingly, the dislike of queueing has been somewhat institutionalised, with an express lane being provided at many government agencies for those of us in a hurry, of course there is a charge for use of this lane, which at the Bureau of Immigration is P500 and it is even listed on the receipt, however despite many visits and being charged this fee each time, I have yet to locate this mythical lane that speeds my progress.

Taxes: nobody likes paying tax, especially when the money the government takes from the hard working public is wasted or stolen (see corruption). The BIR mentioned above in the receipts paragraph, is actively trying to get people and companies to pay the correct amount by naming and shaming those that have a discrepancy between earnings and tax payments publicly in newspapers.
The BIR is also enforcing the rules very strictly an example of this is that for a doctor to provide a free consult or treatment to a patient, they need to get a notarised (see above) affidavit to confirm the fact that the treatment was given ‘pro bono’; the flaw in this is that a normal consult would be charged at ₷400 any treatment obviously significantly more, somebody then has to pay the lawyer ₷300 for the notarised statement of free treatment, it won’t be the patient (who has no money and hence the free consult etc.), but the doctor, who then looses their professional fee and is saddled with a bill at the lawyer’s office. Who wins from this, apart from the BIR (and even that is debatable) you guessed it, the lawyers!!

Driving: Now, in common with many men, I consider myself to be a fairly good driver with not just a car licence, but also a truck licence for many years (36 to be exact), and I have banged on about this on previous occasions, however I have now concluded that the problem is that I am working to a different set of rules developed from all those years of experience and the other guys haven’t even seen the rule book!

Bureaucracy: loved by all governments, the Filipino one above all, on a later blog I shall relate the fun and games we have had at the Bureau of Immigration, but since my application is pending, I am not prepared to go on record just yet. Needless to say, between the notaries, lawyers, receipts and overall suspicion of everyone even a seemingly simple task can take a long time. Kat’s professional medical licence, in common with all doctors requires periodic renewal, making sure that all professional requirements have been complied with, however it baffles me how it can take 3 months just to change her name after we got married. Likewise renewing her accreditation with a medical insurance provider is likely to take 2 months or more, and there are lots of forms to complete too.

Photocopies: as a part of the bureaucracy etc. all applications require supporting documentation, this takes the form of copies of licences, passports, receipts and at least 2 copies of the application form, it doesn’t matter what the size of the original is even a small slip of paper, it is copied onto an A4 or legal size sheet then stapled together (see, I told you staple are a booming industry) and in some cases each copy needs notarising rather than taking a copy of a notarised document just to make life more difficult. What all this means is that there are a load of trees being chopped down to feed the every hungry bureaucracy machine, I wish something could be done about this.

Food and eating: perhaps surprisingly for a south east Asian country with long association with China amongst other nations nearby, the Philippines does not have a cultural bias towards the chopstick. Also it would seem that despite being colonised by first the Spanish and then the Americans (the Brits had a go back in 1762 but only managed to occupy Manila and Cavite before being unceremoniously thrown out by the Filipino natives and the Spanish in 1764 but not before making a mess of Intramuros) the knife and fork are not the normal utensils used by Filipinos. In fact although forks are used, in place of the knife a spoon is used. I find this hard to work with as a cutting tool would be much more useful in many dishes, although the spoon is useful for those with a predominant sauce base or those with finely cut components such as Bulalo, Sisig, Bicol Express and the like.

Rice is a staple of the diet of many in South East Asia and as such a lot of time and effort has gone into developing the many varieties of rice that are found here. I arrived thinking there were only the 4 main types, long or short grain, Basmati and risotto, how wrong I was. It would seem that rice has a similar status to the humble potato back home, many varieties with many characteristics and tastes. Sadly for me, the potato is merely a source of starch here, and is not treated with the reverence it deserves, often left out in the open air, exposed to light and going green. No distinction is made of the soft and floury varieties or those better for making chips (French fries) or roasties!!

Noodles are also very much in favour here, but I was surprised to learn that a Filipino version of "Pot Noodle" was quite so popular, makes me feel like a student again!

Bicycles: It has been said that bicycles originated in the Philippines, I am not in a position to agree or disagree with this, but the common or garden bicycle has been put to very good use in this country with for some people having this as their only mode of transport. Bikes take many forms and modifications are widespread, this can be  something as simple as the use of a small block of wood on the crossbar to make a seat for a passenger or the replacement of the handlebar with a steering wheel to the more extreme changes to the geometry of the headstock to fit a very extended set of front forks making a “chopper” or the welding on of a sidecar to make a pedicab or small cargo carrying vehicle. Oh and by the way, many of these modified bikes have no proper brakes!

What I have also noticed is the extremes in size of some bikes, I have seen adults (mostly male) riding something I would consider more appropriate for a small child, however it has been either specifically built or modified to take the larger size person with extended seat tube and wider handlebars. At the other extreme, mountain bikes are very popular and you often see people riding these around in all the gear, including baggy shorts and logo covered shirts; some of the bikes have unfeasibly large frames and wheels with no possibility of the rider being able to get either foot on the ground whilst stationary without dismounting. Of course, these bikes come with hydraulic disc brakes, just to look macho!!

Politics: this is a minefield for the unwary. Many politicians here are part of a dynasty with the whole family involved, seemingly passing the position down through generations or from one sibling to the next in those positions where a person may only serve a limited number of terms. For an outsider it is quite funny to see the father pass the mayorship to the son for a couple of terms whilst he is elected to congress then to take it back when the son becomes a congressman in his place. This can lead to some inter family tension as opposing factions line up for the next set of elections. Sometime the politicians are also movie, TV or musical stars, some of these have managed to combine this with being part of a dynasty, begging the question of “why vote for x?” to be answered with “he / she is my favourite movie star” party politics and policies don’t get much of a look in sometimes.

It would be unfair of me to suggest that Filipino politics is corrupt, but I think it is fair to say that there is corruption in Filipino politics. At the moment there is a lot of interest in what is known as ‘pork barrel politics’ where politicians are given large sums of money each year to allocate to various pet projects on the basis that they know what is needed in their constituencies. In the current case being played out, it is alleged that some senior politicians have been involved in diverting funds to interested parties and or bogus NGOs with the politicians receiving significant kickbacks of up to 50% of the total. Due to the Filipino love of bureaucracy there are receipts and money orders providing a lovely audit trail, but the implicated parties are claiming that their signatures were forged or had delegated authority to subordinates, who must have been acting outside the bounds of the politicians wishes, we shall have to wait and see whether any concrete evidence turns up.

The current president, President Aquino, has banned the use of what is called “Wang Wang” or the use of police out riders and sirens for politicians to get about in their normal daily business and, to be, fair has taken the time himself to apply for the renewal of his own driving and firearms licences in person, however this edict is not well liked and it is not uncommon to be blasted by the horn or siren of a police motor bike to make way for a large black SUV to come by, often Chevrolet Suburban or Toyota Landcruiser and always with dark tinted windows!

In conclusion, the Philippines is, as mentioned earlier, a weird and wonderful place, I am learning to modify my behaviours and expectations to take into account the differences between where I am now and where I have come from, I am not sure whether I shall ever fully fit in, but I am going to give it a damn good go and will certainly enjoy myself trying, with the help of my asawa and our family and friends.

It occurred to me the other day that I hadn't updated my blog for a few months, I checked and the last was before Christmas, so we are looking at 3 months since last I wrote anything. This is of course all complicated by the fact that between Kat and myself, we make daily or more frequent posts on social networking sites such as Facebook, Foursquare and Instagram. Anyway that no withstanding, here is my first contribution for 2014.

We have been quite busy over the past few months, we are having a house built and this is coming along very well. After selling my flat back in the UK and getting the money over here we bought the lot from the developer and discussed options with the architect.  In order to stay within budget we had to forgo a completely custom design and have some tweaks done to one of his existing layouts. The first set of plans were OK but compromised rather on what I had originally wanted, but with a bit more time and knowing which lot we now had, he was able to come up with a design incorporating 2 beds and bathrooms (comfort rooms or CRs) upstairs, the master is en-suite along with a family area for watching TV or playing on the PS3, a downstairs bedroom and CR and large kitchen, dining and living area. On the 8th December the lot was marked out and a couple of holes had been dug, at the time of writing, the main construction has been completed, all the walls are in place, the roof structure has been erected and the floor slabs for both ground and upper floor have been poured (the upstairs had been done before Christmas).

It turns out that our design has caused the architect and his construction firm some challenges, not least of which was the inclusion of solar water heating as well as passive cooling of the property where possible by the use of shade from the roof and positioning of windows to maximise light but control the warming effect of large quantities of glass. We are installing solar reflective film on the windows to further reduce the heating effect and also to provide some privacy, which will be great until we turn on the interior lights.

One amusing moment was when I enquired whether we could run electric power out to the fence, our architect looked horrified to inform me that this was not permissible here in the Philippines thinking I wanted an electric fence, I actually only wanted to have some lights installed on the gate posts…..

We are also having air conditioning installed which I am hoping not to use too much, partly due to the high cost of electricity. Since I am not a fan of the 'window rattler' type, although these are easy to control, they are noisy and intrusive, so we are having split systems installed. Since we are having a domestic install, a multi-split is probably not cost effective, so we are going to end up with 4 internal and 4 external (the compressor) units, our architect has made some modifications to the design to accommodate these, where the sound will be attenuated by walls etc. 

In addition to all this, we had several parties to attend over the holiday season, one of which was even sponsored by a medical products company, we had to listen to a short presentation during dinner, much to the amusement of other customers, but a result none the less.

Also there have been several licences, memberships and other document applications, submissions and renewals going on. Earlier I related the rather sorry tale of renewing Kat’s Professional Regulation Commission licence to practice medicine, which has to be conducted every three years. Well the good news is that the new ID card is ready; this took almost 4 months to obtain, we shall go and collect it on Monday (yes, we have to go get it..) which leads me on to one of this month’s topics for the blog, the licence nightmare:-

It is well known that many countries have an overly complex bureaucracy, the Philippines being up there with India, Pakistan and Egypt in the complexity of getting things done. From observation I have noted that in order to qualify for or to renew a pre-existing qualification or registration for a number of essential documents, Filipinos are put through a mind boggling number of requirements, I shall provide examples:-

• To obtain a driving licence it is necessary to undergo a medical, including a urine test for drug screening. The practical test and written exam, medical etc. can be completed in a single day if you arrive early at the Land Transportation Office (LTO) facility. I actually managed to achieve this with some help. Time taken, 9 hours
• To renew one’s driving licence, (this has been recorded as 38 minutes from arrival to departure for President Nonoy Aquino a week or two ago, he was not accorded any special treatment) average person probably 2 hours or so, this can now be transacted in some shopping malls.
• National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) clearance, required for a number of things including employment, travel overseas etc. can now be applied for online, however you need to attend the local centre and queue up with those that didn’t use the online service to pay etc. and then return to be issued with clearance, time for Filipinos 2 to 3 days, for foreigners, 1 month
• PhilHealth registration (government run health insurance), must be transacted in person, since Kat is a doctor we were able to shortcut the normal process and use a dedicated desk, re-registering her as an accredited doctor able to provide care to patients and for us to be jointly covered in case of illness, total time under 1 hour. However the waiting room was full of ordinary folk waiting for the process to be completed. We shall have to wait around 6 weeks for the new card to be issued in Kat’s married name!!
• I bought a car back in November, I was at the time issued a temporary registration document, which was little more than a receipt from the dealership to confirm I had paid them for the car identified by the chassis and engine numbers etc. The car has no number plate, instead I am using the “Conduction Number” which is as far as I can tell a unique identifier issued by the LTO (what’s the difference? I hear you ask) at the time of writing this, I have just received a copy of the new registration document, but still no number plate or even plate number, so will continue to use the conduction number for a few more weeks.

As I mentioned before, most of the transactions carried out here are done in a serial manner, with the applicant travelling from desk to desk, window to window or office to office in a scripted if not well designed ballet. Each requires queuing or waiting in a seating area to be called to a window and the whole process from start to finish can take several hours, when you add travel time to this it is clear that each Filipino probably wastes several days on average each year to obtain these documents, what cost to productivity???

• To fulfil the requirements of my submission for residency here, I need to submit my NBI clearance (obtained fairly painlessly) as well as a similar document from the UK, the problem is that the UK document needs to be not only authenticated by the British Embassy, who for the cost of a little over ₷2000 (about £30) copied my certificate and embossed it with the seal of the embassy and a statement that it was genuine, they do not actually check with ACPO back in the UK, although it does have a hologram seal. This document then needs to be validated by the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) who take the copy (not original) and attach a red ribbon, a process known oddly enough as “red ribboning”.
• My sister in law is intending to depart for Qatar to work for a couple of years, to meet the requirement of her new employer, she is required to have a recent copy of an NBI clearance, not unreasonable, however since the job is out of the country, she is also required to get the DFA to red ribbon it before she can leave, I am at a loss to see the value add…..
• Likewise, it would seem that once I have been successful and obtained my residency permit/visa/registration, I am unable to travel out of the Philippines without a re-entry permit, I am not sure of the cost, but it won't come free, issued by the Bureau of Immigration to state that I am not fleeing the country from a criminal charge or wanted elsewhere; these things are a one time usage so far, although can be obtained at fairly short notice, even at the airport apparently, but I am not entirely happy that my freedom to travel is being compromised in such a way, if all foreigners are criminals or suspected criminals then don’t let them in!!!!

I have recently opened two bank accounts, one took me nearly 4 weeks to get my ATM card and a further month to get my online access passwords etc. however the provided ATM card was not acceptable to online merchants such as iTunes and Amazon, so I had to open another account, this one was fully complete in under 5 hours, and that included getting a fully functional debit/ATM card, PIN and on-line access, why can’t it all be like this?????

End of 2013 blog, 9 months in a new land

It has been 9 months since I arrived here to start my new life. I have already documented some of the things that have happened or occurred to me during the intervening months, and have to the amusement of some, but not others, bemoaned the state of the vehicles and drivers and riders here. With the exception of a brief mention, this topic will not feature heavily in this end of 2013 blog post.
What I am intending to do here, is to elaborate some more on the things that I have observed, both good and bad, in a way that does not offend anyone and hopefully brings a smile to their faces “Ah, yes, I remember that” and so on. To encourage me to be less wordy, I am going to bullet point this blog, rather than using free text as much as I might normally. I shall start with an update of progress on the most important matters, residency visa and our new house.

·      It took a while to sell my flat back in the UK, around 8 months. I now have the funds to enable us to buy the land and to engage the contractor to build our house.

·      Kat and I met with the architect and after several discussions we came up with a modification to the standard design the developer was using to give us a lot more space and a master bedroom with en-suite bathroom.

·      Building permits have now been applied for and the first stage of the ground works has commenced.

·      In the meantime, we have been waiting for the arrival of some documents to be submitted in support of my residency application. Sadly, the rules seem to have changed, or at least the enforcement has, and we now needed some additional paperwork:

o   We obtained the new documents, one from the police here and one from the UK police to state that I have no criminal record or pending prosecutions.

o   Kat and I took these to the Bureau of Immigration, only to be informed that the UK document was not acceptable without validation, so we have now applied for that to be done

o   The first available appointment at the British Embassy for the first part of the validation is February 2014!!

o   My current visa expires end of March 2014

·      I have also been able to buy a car; well it’s a bit bigger than that, a crossover SUV. I like it as it gives us road presence, however it uses almost twice as much fuel as Kat’s Suzuki, ho hum….

·      Being married to a doctor conveys a number of benefits and also a number of drawbacks

o   We are respected by many of the people we meet because of Kat’s position in society, helping others when they are sick

§  Helping others often means phone calls or text messages in the middle of the night, which require answers and sometimes wakes both of us

§  When patients have been admitted, rounds need to be done to manage their care, every day until discharge!

o   My boredom threshold has risen immensely over the past few months;

§  I get to read a lot

§  I spend a lot of time waiting around during clinics and rounds visits when I have nothing much to do

o   I love seeing her interact with the patients and their parents

§  I spend a lot of time in waiting rooms with sick kids!

o   We get to go to a lot of social events, product presentations and conventions

§  I am surprised I have lost any weight, there is always food at these things

§  I am a bit of a spare part at these things, at least I get to go shopping and drink coffee in Starbucks!

o   I have been inoculated against a whole host of diseases including Hepa A, Hep B, flu, typhoid and varicella

§  Jabs hurt

§  I occasionally get to give them back to Kat!!

·      In the 9 months of living here, I have managed to loose around 7kg in weight, this is not due to a successful diet, but is most likely down to a dramatic reduction in the quantity of beer I was drinking. I normally have something like 4 to 6 small cans or bottles a week now, I used to do that in pints on a single evening back in the UK, especially Fridays!!

o   I still have small moobs, as we discovered when I tried on a t-shirt the other day

·      I have not yet been diving since I arrived. Complex reasons but very sad as we are in the Coral Triangle, must do better next year; whale sharks maybe in the spring.

·      I still don’t have a proper tan, but am a bit browner than when I left the UK, at least on my head and arms.

·      The Philippines, in common with the remainder of the tropics, is a hostile environment to live and work; the temperature and the humidity make the majority of physical tasks seem doubly hard, at least to a westerner brought up in a temperate climate. I need to take a rest about every 30 minutes or so even when carrying out light work such as sweeping up leaves.

·      Filipinos are tremendously hospitable, generous to a fault, offering refreshments and the best chair in the house to visiting guests; makes one feel so very welcome.

·      Filipinos love bling, even more than perhaps rap stars. You can see this love reflected, literally, on their cars; which have chrome plated accents and garnishes all over the place. These can be as varied as light surrounds, fuel tank covers, chromed exhaust tips and of course the wide, over diameter wheels, where would we be without them!

·      For some bizarre reason, owners of many SUVs here also have roof racks fitted, Thule being a favourite, however none of them seem to be used!

·      Those drivers and riders that make use of lights when driving often have many scattered about the place (think Fast and Furious 2 on steroids) with LEDs glowing in the most unlikely of locations.

·      Every Filipino I have had the pleasure of meeting seems to know one of the others I have already met, which is spooky, or have seen my photo on Facebook, maybe that tells me something about my public profile, I have even been stopped at the bank by a distant relative of Kat’s.

o   The whole society seems to run on an extended set of networks.

o   Each Filipino is the centre of a complex Venn diagram of social, educational, work and family circles, this is especially important for those working away from home or who have emigrated to other countries.

o   Some of these network connections are used for support in times of need, e.g. the family and close friends at times of illness, accident, and natural disaster and also happier times such as births, weddings and christenings etc.

o   Others are made use of to expedite matters such as permits, licences and contracts etc.

·      The Philippines as a society seems to me to be rigidly bound by a seemingly inordinate number of rules, procedures and regulations. Whilst this is not unusual, the fact that some rules seem to confound others and common sense makes life more entertaining, especially the way the population navigates normal day-to-day interactions.

o   Some of these rules are too important to ignore and are followed by almost everyone, but there is always an exception

o   Some rules, whilst important, and to me seemingly sensible are ignored by nearly everyone, including the police and other enforcement agencies e.g. functioning lights on vehicles, the wearing of crash helmets on motor bikes, driving on the designated side of the road, building regulations (there are a lot of self-built shanties by the sides of the road or rivers occupied by squatters) to name just a few

o   Procedures set by business owners and the civil service however are nearly always complied with, even when there is clearly a much better way to do it, no body challenges the status quo and so the time wasting and lack of value add continues endlessly.

o   Being an outsider, knowing how to navigate this veritable ocean of complexity requires endless patience, something I am sad to say I have not yet developed.

o   There is almost always a mechanism to get around the rules or procedures, the networks mentioned above can help, but there are also often “fixers” who, for a fee, can get things fast tracked. Whilst I object to this at a fundamental level, sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and jump down off the moral high ground….

·      Filipino shops make extensive use of staples and self adhesive tape to attach receipts to bags once the purchase has been completed. I am sure there is a business opportunity here somewhere.

·      Still with shops, at the grocery most items are over packaged, especially “loose” items such as carrots, lemons etc. that are often wrapped in pairs or sometimes even individually in an endless sheet of cling film (Ceram wrap) which is then secured with, you guessed it, self adhesive tape!

·      Procedures not withstanding, some things can be achieved with remarkable rapidity. After a break in at our house, we decided to get some gates for the front and back doors of the house. With the aid of Kat’s parents we engaged the services of a local workshop to make them up of steel bar section and strip with some decoration. I had an expectation of just the welding taking a week or two, so imagine my surprise when the guys turned up the next day to install the finished gates (which they transported with a welding set on a motor tricycle).

o   This was back in early June, the painting of the gates has not been fully completed, I am doing it and my DIY motivation is sometimes a bit lacking!!

·      It will take 4 months for Kat’s medical licence to be re-issued to take into account her name change after our wedding.

·      My car is now one month old, the registration process has not yet been completed and I am driving on a temporary “Conduction Number” issued by the authorities (why this is not sufficient and they need another number I have no idea). The registration of Kat’s car took 6 months; I hope mine is completed more quickly.

A review of progress after a bit over 6 months here

I am now quite well settled, well enough to review the current state of affairs and maybe comment on some possible opportunities going forward.

Things I love about being here:-

• Kat and her family. They have welcomed me and helped me with the transition. There is still a way to go, but it gets easier day by day.
• The new friends I have made, these are on the whole through Kat and they will never replace those in the UK, but it's good to have a new group to share things with.
• Fresh fruit, year round; yes, pineapples fresh from the plantation and a mango tree in the garden!
• Warm sunny weather most of the time
• Warm tropical beaches, and the associated water sports (I haven't been diving yet, logistical problems, but am planning a trip to Donsol soon where we can swim with whale sharks)
• The proximity to other parts of SE Asia, Singapore is 3.5 hours away, Bangkok a little over 2 and Hong Kong is 2 hours away! I would like to go and see the Hong Kong 7s next year.
• The outlet stores and the malls around here, good shopping and sensible priced food at the restos.
• The low cost of living compared to Europe. 
• 7090 something islands that I have yet to explore here (there are 7107 in total, not all above water all of the time) I have only been to a few so far.
• Getting workmen to do things, providing you have the money and can supervise things can be done really quickly, we had some steel gates made and installed in less than 48 hours
• Shops happily deliver stuff, they may charge a little, but they do deliver, as do McDonald’s which seems all kinds of wrong to me.

Things I miss from Europe and more specifically the UK:-

• TV, and more importantly my Sky+ Box, who knew life would be so hard without many hundreds of channels and a 1TB HDD Personal Video Recorder with series link? I can cope without high def, just about, but this is torture. I also can't get my favourite sports at the moment.
• eBay, yes I know we have eBay.ph but it is not the same. I miss the Canon and PCWorld outlet shops, some great bargains. On the plus side, I haven't bought much in the way of gadgets recently.
• Roundabouts (I never expected to say this) I really don't like most of the junctions here, especially those without traffic lights, roundabouts would make life easier, maybe.....
• Similarly, reflective paint used for lane markings and cat's eyes. I have to comment that Calamba City has installed some road studs, but I haven't seen these at night but that is the only place I have seen them.
• A crisp, cold day in autumn, I love these, a day with clear blue sky, the temperature hovering around 0C so your nose tingles when you inhale.
• My friends, a bit obvious this, and I can chat on Facebook or use Skype and all that, but it's not quite the same.
• The pub, need I say more.
• UK banking, at least the retail variety; I was not aware how sophisticated it had become and how easy it is to pay for stuff. Banks here have a way to go re debit cards, electronic transfer of funds. I suspect there is a strong regulatory influence slowing down this development. 
• The NHS, medical care free at point of use is something I have taken for granted all my life, I see examples of the consequences for patients who have to pay for treatment yet can't afford it almost daily. 

Things that drive me crazy:-

• Filipino politics, part bemuse, part confuse and part worry me in equal measure. Election time is like a madhouse of competing candidates, supporters in t-shirts and very loud Tannoy vans.
• Cyclists, both pedal and motor riding in the dark with no lights and often on the wrong side of the road, do these guys have a death wish?
• Roadworks, see photo right of newly installed stop

  

  If you hit these on a bike it's good night!

  valve housings, some 3cm above the ground.
• Christmas starting in September, although it has been slow build up so far, but we are only in the early stages of November at the moment
• The bureaucracy, and the fact that everyone just accepts it. Stand up for yourselves and maybe it will get changed. I actually wonder what the LTO staff do when they have to renew their licence, or maybe they use a “Fixer” or just ask a work mate to do it????
• The number of people who serve you in a shop, it doesn’t take 4 people to sell me a memory card (see last month’s blog)
• Filipino drivers, but let’s give that one a rest this month.
• Bugs, there are loads of them here and not only insects and the like, also lizards and stuff. Some are way bigger than their European counterparts and many are evil and bite (red ants…..) and yes we do have big ass cockroaches!!
• Fast broadband, 2Mbps, I can get faster on my 3G phone!!
• TV here, Korean and Filipino tele-novelas really are something to behold and not in a good way.
• TV news anchors, over egging the pudding doesn’t come close to how some of them deliver the news, makes me laugh.
• Having to provide food for the workmen, what happened to the lunch box?

The things that oddly I don’t really miss:-

• Many of the typical British staple food items, I have found some of the brands are available here (globalisation for you) or alternatives.
• From above, cooking mixes, either powder or sauces in a jar or can, new recipes have become available to me, and those that I want to cook like at home, get out the cook book and work from scratch; I was surprised how good my chill was the other day!!
• British shops, who needs them, besides we have M&S, Debenhams, Top Shop & Dorothy Perkins etc. here in the malls and a whole lot of other more global brands if you want them.
• Ice and snow, got enough problems with the wind and rain thank you
• Jackets, boots, scarves and gloves; oddly it was a bit chilly last night, must have dropped to a bit less than 20℃ so I had to put on a fleece!!
• The A3, A11, M3, M6, M11 and M25, got enough on my plate with SLEX, C5, EDSA etc.

Things I am looking forward to:-

• Getting my new car, hopefully next week, picture to follow
• Paying the developer for the land to build our new house
• Talking to the architect again and sorting out the plan of work for the house
• Sorting out my residency documentation
• Getting back to some sort of work once I am allowed to
• Watching the house being built and then moving in
• Getting faster broadband (maybe as fast as 6Mbps!!) and satellite TV in the new house
• Visiting Donsol for our first anniversary and hopefully diving or at least swimming with whale sharks
• Last but not least, hope to become a father sometime in the next 12 to 18 months

I am sure there are more, but can't think of them right now......

Now some 6 months in my newly adopted country.....

I love living here in the Philippines the climate is warm, the people are friendly and the service offered to customers at a number of retail establishments would stir long forgotten memories in Western people a generation or two older than myself e.g. 

• not having to pump fuel for the car, this is done for you and it is also possible to have the windscreen cleaned and the tire pressures checked too, all without leaving the comfort of one’s air conditioned vehicle
• in the supermarket the goods you have purchased are packed into a bag or box by an assistant 
• at McDonalds and other fast food outlets, one is not expected to clear away your table once you have finished your meal a helpful attendant will do it for you
• security guards outside retail establishments often act as traffic marshals to enable customers to exit the car park, either crossing traffic or reversing out of a parking space. 

Naturally there is a price for such service, you may have to queue and wait for an attendant and the additional services suggest you should tip the attendant (and justly so too). 
As someone who is fairly self-sufficient and was brought up without it, all this makes me feel a little uncomfortable, but that is the level of service you get here.

There is another much less obvious cost to all of this excellent service, and that is ultimately born by the end customer, employees are expensive and therefore prices are kept higher because of the need to pay for these helpful, but not vital employees. However, it does remove people from the unemployment statistics......

On the flip side of this excellent service there is the bureaucracy for which the Philippines is famous, or should that be infamous. This is not only experienced in the public sector (licences, visas, taxes etc.) but also in the private sector. Now I have to admit that from my former career, I support the need to manage the way things are done, the necessary steps to ensure that the job is completed properly with the desired outcome for both the customer (whoever that may be) and the provider of the goods or service; these are business processes and the instructions on how to accomplish these successfully are procedures. However, I am also keenly aware that over reliance of organisations to rigid processes and procedures can be self-defeating.

I have noticed, and it has been commented upon by others in the media, that in the Philippines there is a tendency for many business processes to be transacted in a serial fashion by a number of different people i.e. much like a production line each person is responsible for one part of the overall process, passing on the customer and any associated paperwork or goods to the next person in line. For example, a few days ago I purchased a memory card for a new phone, this is how the transaction progressed:-

1.         Entered the shop to be met by Assistant #1 who politely enquired whether I needed any help

2.         Informed Assistant #1 of my need for a 32Gb micro SD card

3.         Was referred to Assistant #2, who took note of my needs and confirmed this was what I truly needed.

4.         Assistant #2 directed Assistant #1 to get a suitable card from the locked cabinet

5.         Assistant #1 unlocked the cabinet, showed the card to me and Assistant #2 for confirmation this was acceptable and handed the same to Assistant #3

6.         Assistant #2 requested my contact details, which were loaded to a database, I requested they not contact my cell phone, I was then directed to pay Assistant #4 at the cashier’s desk.

7.         Once I had been furnished with the receipt for payment, I was informed to collect the memory card from Assistant #3, where I was asked to sign both copies of the receipt, one kept by the merchant, one as my copy of the guarantee.

Total time, between 10 and 15 minutes....

Similarly the previous day, I had been to the Bureau of Immigration to extend my visa for a further 6 months, this had required me to present my documentation to 3 different officials, make a payment to another, show the receipt to yet one more and finally obtain my passport and new visa from a further official, and this took around 2 hours to accomplish, which knocks spots off the time to get a driving licence as this took some 9 hours and several more steps.....

Conversely and maybe this just shows how perverse life actually is, I purchased a new cell phone the transaction of which was conducted a short walk from the shop where I bought the memory card, this involved one sales assistant and took less than 5 minutes despite involving a much wider choice of devices.

Another thing that bemuses me, and this took a while for me to realize, partly as I didn’t believe what was taking place; we live close to a major road running north – south from Manila to Southern Luzon. As befits a road built with private money, it is a toll way, necessitating the collection of fees for the use of the road. This is accomplished by human operators handing cards which have a validated (by the use of a swipe machine) magnetic strip on them, the cards being relinquished at the end of the journey when exiting the toll way and a fee being charged according to distance travelled between entry and exit. So far so good, however, each of the cards issued is not only machine readable, but also human readable by the use of a permanent label, so if you enter at Santa Rosa the card has StR on it, or Soutwoods SWD etc. which makes the magnetic stripe redundant, after all one of the identifiers is not adding any real value. But the real kicker is that at the end of the day or whenever, all the cards need to be sorted and returned to their place of origin, no what lunatic dreamt that system up????

It should be possible for many of the processes involved in the purchase of a memory card, issuance of an extended visa or even a driving licence to be carried out by a vastly reduced number of people; now I am not suggesting there is a direct equivalence in the gravity of a driving licence or visa extension to a memory card, but from a process perspective there is little difference. I am not sufficiently arrogant to think I know the solution to this and even if I was, the inertia of whole societies would mean that I am likely to have little effect on overall efficiency, however I will try, where I can, to challenge the status quo and maybe to influence some changes; after all, just because it has been done this way for many years, this doesn’t make it the right or best way, time for some process analysis??

Meanwhile, our wedding photos and the video have been delivered from Purple Duck Photography, and a fantastic job they have done. You can see the video on YouTube http://youtu.be/eiscnQQ15mU.

For those of you missing my regular tirades about driving styles, I have been trying to work out a number of rules that should be followed, I was trying to limit this to 10, but couldn’t, every time I had managed this, something would happen that made me add one or two more, or to add sub-clauses and thereby making the simple set of rules like some sort of user manual full of don’t do, must do and if you do this you are an idiot type comments. I would love this to be taken up by Top Gear Philippines, but doubt if it will:-

Gary’s top ten eleven rules for Pinoy Drivers

1. Regardless of what your mother told you (or is still telling you), you are not now, nor have you ever been, the most important person on the planet, or for that matter the road. A little humility is a good thing, be courteous to other road users; give way occasionally and don’t just pull out into traffic, use your mirrors and observation to identify a suitable gap in the flow of traffic before moving off.
2. Maintain your vehicle regularly, i.e. check lights, horn, wipers, tires, brakes and all associated fluids and pressures at least monthly. If any one of these is found to be defective, please remedy this as soon as possible.
3. Flashing your high beams at me does not allow you to assume the right of way and to cut across in front of me, and is at best a gamble, as I may not have seen you. If my lane or road has priority then it is my right of way to relinquish, not yours to take; if in doubt refer to rule 1.
4. It is not a race, you don’t have to get there first, be aware of other road users; there is no need to cut in front or make a suicide lunge across several lanes just to be in front; remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare!! If in doubt refer to rule 1.
5. Indicators or flashers are designed and affixed to vehicles to be used to signal your intentions, please use them for this. However these become useless if not cancelled once the manoeuvre is completed.
6. Hazard flashers do not provide carte blanche to drive contrary to good sense and order for example driving against traffic (counterflowing) or to carry out any other dangerous manoeuvres just because you want to. Also they are useless when used at speed and especially in the rain as they cause more confusion than any possible benefit gained from having flashing lights on a vehicle. Rule 1 is especially applicable in the case of hazard flashers!!
7. This also applies to drivers of barnagay rescue vehicles, police cars, toll way operator pickups, ambulances and other emergency vehicles, please only turn on your red and blue strobe lights when it is a real emergency (being late for your dinner does not count), by convention other road users should then give priority to you, but if you insist on switching them on just because you have them or you want people to see your beautiful bright and colourful lights, the affect is lost and they don’t give you priority when you actually need it.
8. Driving without lights is foolish and extremely dangerous to yourself and other road users; the electricity used does not come from the battery, it is provided almost free by the alternator or dynamo as part of the general operation of the vehicle, make use of it and stay safe. Also whilst having front lights on is good, having the rear ones on too helps a lotAligned to this, can any lights fitted to the vehicle please conform to accepted norms, i.e. don’t use blue for brake lights, it’s confusing and especially don’t use red for front lights that is downright scary!
9. Contrary to popular belief, motorcycle riders (and tricycle drivers) also have a right to use the road, despite buzzing around the place like a swarm of angry bees. Be courteous to them and also give them room when pulling away or changing lanes. Please refer to rule 1 for clarification.
10. Plan ahead and get into the correct lane when turning or leaving the highway, we all know that jeepney and tricycle drivers tend to pull over at the drop of a hat and then block the inside lane, but turning right from the left most lane is poor form, delays other road users and can be dangerous; the same applies to left turns. If in doubt refer to rule 1.On the subject of lane discipline, numbering from the right side, you should endeavour to travel in the lowest numbered lane unless moving faster than traffic to your right. What this means in practice is that there should be no need to “undertake” as slow moving vehicles should move to the right side. If you find vehicles passing you on the right hand side, you are in the wrong lane!!
11. Leave a gap between yourself and the vehicle in front, this applies equally when driving normally, when there should be a 2 second gap to the car in front and to queuing traffic, don’t tailgate, it’s not clever, this applies especially to “Killer Buses”, “Psycho Trucks” and “Bullying SUVs”